So I’ve been watching a lot of Youtube over the past few days, and wow I’ve actually learned a lot! But today I’m actually going to be talking about some random stuff. Some of it I got from Youtube (specifically this Youtuber called Ingrid Nilsen, if you haven’t seen any of her work go check her out, everything she says and does is so inspirational and meaningful, just freaking amazing), and some of it has just been marinating in my brain for a while, waiting to be spit out.
First thing: why doesn’t anyone ask how people are these days? Like not in the formal, polite “How are you?” “I’m doing well, how about you?”. More like the “hey, how was your day?” and “Pretty good” or “It was alright, I guess”. Doesn’t this just invite conversation? Does anyone even realize how many awkward pauses you could save by just doing the latter? There is a very slim chance that someone is going to reply with just “It was ok, I guess” and then just stop talking, like people enjoy talking about themselves. It’s just a fact. And if they do, well most likely it’s because they don’t feel comfortable enough with you to elaborate. It’s pretty downhill from there because if you’ve known them for more than a couple DAYS, there really should be no problem carrying on a conversation that consists of more than those two phrases. (or maybe both of you are just really bad at anything even remotely social)
One thing I like to do is when I get on the bus and sit next to my neighbor, we literally always ask each other how the their day was. The best part is, that not one time have either of us said “Amazing!” or anything even remotely close to that. There’s always something that’s gone wrong,(or everything’s gone wrong! that’s cool too). But after we talk about it, (can’t speak for her) I know that I feel better? I think it’s just something about saying it to someone and having them listen that makes everything better. The crazy thing is, that we literally have NOTHING in common. She likes sports, I hate sports. She loves fantasy books, I hate fantasy books. She plays the piano, I don’t play the piano. We have no classes, few interests in common. (I’ve noticed that a lot of the time my conversations center around school, and classes and grades. Not an option here.) We just seem to find things! Like the other day she was telling me about this book she was reading, and I asked what it was about (it was fantasy.) She literally launched into a five-minute straight explanation of everything (it’s a series with nine parts) and by the time she was done I made a joke about having that be like explaining the entire Harry Potter series to me. She laughed so hard! It was great. I’d had the worst day, failed my calc test, and stressed out about everything else. My mood boosted at least by half in that one moment. I ranted about my calc test, she listened (not heard, LISTENED, and yes there is a difference) and said just a few words that were actually so meaningful. Mood: another 50% boosted. I
I hadn’t talked to her in years before freshman year. On that first day, we just clicked. Moral of the story: the longest friendships aren’t always the strongest friendships. So if you’ve been friends with someone for a long time and everything’s just starting to fade, don’t hesitate to cut ties. Because if it’s causing you unnecessary stress, you don’t need it. Everything and everyone you surround yourself with should be bringing you joy. (Ingrid really focuses on this and that’s one of the reasons I love her. so authentic)
Second: on a more positive note, I love it when people laugh so hard they go silent. It’s a beautiful sight. Could there be any more joy in the world! So great. This is such an articulate point I actually don’t have much to explain…
Third: Take care of yourself. It’s something I have to remind myself to do, but it helps so much. Getting my mindset to be positive helps me and those around me. Ex. after I failed my calc test, I was THIS close to crying. (you can’t see but my fingers are pressed together.) I’m walking down the halls, they’re pretty much empty because lunch and class has started, and I just take 30 seconds, max, to spend time with myself. It helps so much! By the time I get to the lunch table, no one can even tell I was about to break down less than a minute ago. People think that they should be focusing on others, (not being selfish and whatnot), but really, YOU come first. If you’re not happy, you can’t help others be happy. If others need to take care of you, they’re not able to take care of themselves. It’s really just a cycle that starts and ends with yourself. Also, if you’re that concerned about being selfless, have you ever seen someone that’s actually genuinely happier surrounded by negative than positive people? I haven’t, for sure.
So I actually have another example (sorry, but this actually just means I’ve been implementing these ideas and not just sitting around). In Community, our teacher asks us how we’re doing, (see! people do it, and it works) and when it came to my turn, I said 10. (on a scale of 1-10). This kid in my class says “How are you a 10? You have a Bio test today!”
And ok, you know what? I’m not a 10. Not without a lot of mental energy, at least. Your mood is what you make of it. Your day is what you make of it. Everything is what you make of it.
Recap (well aware no one actually read that entire thing)
1. Ask people how they’re doing
2. Watching people laugh silently is so uplifting!
3. Take care of yourself, first.
Thanks for reading! (or at least scrolling all the way down here). See you next time!
Peaches & Cream 